11.21.2008

beauty and the beast - three days of nonsense...

Disney's Beauty and the Beast won many awards, but it's one of the stupidest movies they've produced.  i have my grievances against movies like Cinderella - which carries the moral that women shouldn't complain about their problems, because a Man will someday solve it for them - but this movie is ridiculous beyond words.  the love angle is the goofiest i've seen of any movie.  even live action crap like True Romance, where a comic store employee falls in love with a hooker and marries her the next day.

in this award-winning pile of garbage, the nerdy beauty of a small village sacrifices herself to the imprisonment of a "hideous" (though actually quite handsome and charming) beast to free her father.  she then manages to take only 3 nights to fall in love with the monster (largely helped by his giant library and his uncanny ability to waltz).

let's review:

Friday Morning - the town sings about how they got the hots for this nerdy bookworm who dreams of reading a book about a girl who meets prince charming.  (confidence issues?)
Friday Night - belle's father gets lost on his way to the science fair.  it's not that far from the village, as he tells his horse, "We should be there by now"  the atmosphere is dark because he's in spooky land
Saturday Afternoon - belle shuns gaston's advances then lets her fathers horse take her to him.  she offers to take her fathers place as the beast's prisoner.  NOTE- "come into the light" upon seeing the beast for the first time, she turns away, she thinks he's Hideous!
Saturday Evening - the town sings about how they got the hots for this self-absorbed douchebag who dreams of degrading the hottest girl in town.  (confidence issues?)  belle's father returns to exclaim belle is taken prisoner by "a beast!  a horrible monstrous beast!" then gaston sings ...Again.
meanwhile - belle is invited to dinner, but she's being a twat, "i don't want to get to know him, i don't want anything to do with him"
Saturday Night - belle decides she's hungry after all (...) and her new friends tell her she's their guest, through the magic of song.  then she walks around like she owns the place and discovers the beasts rose.  it's really pretty but he gets all pissed and physically violent.  belle runs off but is attacked by wolves.  beast saves her life and she feels guilty for being such a bitch so she tends to his wounds.
Saturday Late Night - belle's father takes off to rescue belle alone while gaston plans to send him to the asylum.  we know it's still the same night because gaston mentions her father was in the tavern "earlier tonight"
Sunday Morning - beast and belle are friends now, and he shows her his library.  she's impressed that he's respecting her wild fetish and so she doesn't make a big deal of his table manners.  then they have a snowball fight, and belle realizes, "...he's no prince charming, but there's something in him that i simply didn't see"  all the castle folk sing about something that wasn't there before, but won't tell the little cracked cup kid the secrets of lust.
Sunday Afternoon - beast and belle continue their courting rituals with dining and dancing, while some lonely old lady sings about the type of relationship she will never experience again.
Sunday Evening - belle misses her father and runs off to save him from the snowbank he fell in on his way to the castle.
Sunday Night - belle brings her father home to face gaston and his angry towncrowd.  they get all drunk on violence and march to the castle.  beast doesn't even care because he's heartbroken.  he misses his snookydoodle.
Sunday Late Night - belle and her father arrive just in time to see the beast decide to change his evil Rattigan mouth to a more human mouth and save gaston's life.  the beast dies from a stab wound as time runs out before belle's magic tears of love can grace his face.  but then the sparkly rain is all like, "just kidding!" and changes him back to human anyway.  (thought not, also healing his stab wound... i didn't know that was in the contract.  does that mean his gonorrhea is cleared up too?) also, the magic also clears up the neighbourhood so it's not always so dark and scary, as well as advancing time by a few hours so it's bright and morning-ish.

the main question - how long does this story take - is answered by another question.
how far is the beast's castle from the village?
it can't be so far that a bunch of drunk villagers can't walk there in the rain.  but it's far enough that belle's incompetent father will pass out while walking there in the snow.

belle, the hot nerd with very specific tastes, falls for a monster overnight.  of course, he's not much of a monster.  glen keane mentioned he designed the beast with all these animal parts, but i think he meant to say, he designed the beast with all these famous male actor parts.  he looks like a cross between Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig, and Pierce Brosnan.

...wait a minute...

11.07.2008

busy town

mr grunkle lays down the law. hardcore.

animation by me.  body by milk.

hurray for huckle

"shoe" us the answer, huckle! hahaha what a delicious pun! the writing on this show is gold.  i did the animation, richard scary provided the inspiration

villainous victory

these guys are so evil! it proves that often, being a villain yields results while playing protagonist gets you frozen solid. snap

johnny test smells

bathing's for freaks

choice animation by me.  stellar fumes by johnny.  actually... stellar fumes by collideascope.

johnny test recruiting

notice the drama? silly hat monkey has a difficult decision ahead of him. notice the drama?

drama is extra difficult to animate, because you have to keep running to the bathroom to make "feeling" faces in the mirror for inspiration.  other styles of acting is easier, because of running to the bathroom to make "feeling..."

johnny test and dukey watch

i really wanted to make the johnny/dukey animation smoother/slower to contrast the popping "anime" style from in the show.

johnny x and super dukey vs snowdudes

no sound, sorry my bad.

johnny "This looks like a job for JOHNNY X!!! aaand SUUUUPER DUKEEEEY...."

dukey "no it doesn't"

i spent too much time on my animation this episode. i was very pleased with the result though. reap what you sow.